Christmas Assembly

The weather may be showing no signs of snow and the neighbouring houses may be dark and depressing; however, an indication that Christmas has begun for me is when the school finally breaks up for half-term (a week-long holiday).

The school always try to end the term on a high-note, especially so near Christmas which is why it is compulsory for all of us (the student body) to attend the dreaded "Christmas Assemby". An hour of Christmassy entertainment and jovial music that the teachers have cooked up in the spirit of the season.

Take assemblies. Normally taking place in the morning, when most students aren't yet functioning correctly due to lack of sleep. The teachers begin by giving long and pointless anecdotes and speeches about the topic of the week (forgiveness, love thy neighbour, exams are important. The usual motivating crap) which no one pays attention to. Occasionally, we are even forced to sing Christian hymns. On rare occasions a charity speaker comes and gives us a talk, which compounds the boredom and we all give polite applause at the end.

Fifteen minutes it usually takes and these precious fifteen minutes of my life are wasted every day with this mind-numbing routine.

So imagine the horror of it all when you take all this and add Christmas to it. Imagine a stunted Christmas tree with tacky decorations on stage; imagine amateur musicians playing tunes out of key; imagine one thousand two hundred students cramped in a confined space, all bored out of their minds.

Pretty bad huh? Well it gets worse.

What happens when one thousand two hundred teenagers are bored? Do they sit there with blank expressions on their faces? Hell no. Do they sit there and make a valiant attempt to enjoy themselves? Kind of. Do they create alternative entertainment? Oh yes.

What sort of "alternative" entertainment was this? People sang songs deliberately out of tune for a laugh (the crazy stuff we do...), others tried to inflict pain to the people surrounding them. I had my schoolbag passed around several rows in some kind of warped pass-the-parcel game my peers had concocted. A friend of mine was wrapped in cellotape (how that was managed in an assemby is anybody's guess) and another was hoisted by many of us and locked in a cupboard (done after the assembly with the boredom of it all still lingering).

So there I was, sitting in hot and cramped conditions sans schoolbag, listening to the teachers singing "Winter Wonder", trying to dodge the various items hurled around around the hall (whilst keeping an eye out that it wasn't my bag being hurled around).

After the assembly, I was reunited with my bag. I found it hidden behind some doors.

This post may be portraying me as some kind of bully victim, but this kind of behaviour is commonplace amongst friends and enemies alike (Many get it far worse than this). Oh well, that's the educational system for ya, don't think of me any differently because of it.

I'm so glad school is over. To sum up the academic term:

I'm cautiously optimistic about my GCSEs (end of year exams. Important stuff). Not looking forward to next term (but who does?). Need to start thinking about work experience (for future career in medicine) and what As Levels (even more important exams) to take next year.

I may write a post about my uneventful/unorthodox Christmas later on. Although frankly, I can't see why anyone would care.