Grand Theft Plagarismo
The panic has set in. I've decided to barracade myself in my own room, with nothing more than a Budweiser, some Danone Activia apricot yoghurt and a brioche to keep me through the long night ahead. Desperate times call for desperate measures, I might even have to cancel watching Prison Break tonight.
Yes, I'm willing to make sacrifices. All for the sake of a few extra marks on my coursework. Is it even worth it? Would I do just as well in my GCSEs without a few measly extra percent? Unfortunately, this may have a massive effect on my future and I'm not willing to take any risks.
If only I had Torquer for guidance. He is a coursework-writing genius and seems to be able to achieve 100%s effortlessly, while I on the other hand toil night and day, writing reams and reams of the stuff only to have it sent back to me covered in red pen with little yellow post-it notes that read: "This is pure drivel and has all the literary value of a Harry Potter novel." or something along those lines.
Alas, it seems the only way I'll get 100% in my Business Studies coursework is if I commit an act of Grand Theft Pagarismo and ransack his computer harddrive, making copies of the Business Studies coursework he has worked so hard on.
Or I could just work hard on my own. Maybe I should do that instead of contemplating ways of stealing Torquer's work and getting distracted by this blog.
I've just noticed my Budweiser has been replaced by a bowl of cherry tomatoes. How very strange...
23 comments:
A Budweiser, really? I though you were more of a J2O person Jingo? Cherry tomatoes are probably more beneficial for you anyhow.
Exactly how do you intend to ransack my hard drive anyway? I believe I have a Mac which I believe is unhackable - atleast with your skills anyway.
lol - good luck with your coursework...
Pouring tomato juice into budweiser is good for the brain.
Good luck on the extra points!
Hey, aren't you a little young for a Budweiser?
He's culturally british, which means he is european. All people of european culture who is not puritanical drinks alcohol at the age of 5 and above. Except for the germans. Germans drink beer since conception, from the surrounding amniotic fluid in the womb, which only german mothers can produce.
My sweeping generalizations are so awesome.
Really now, Bud? You may get more points with a higher quality beer...;-)
torquer: is it really so hard imagining me drinking alcohol? Oh and I've got your cw anyway so why would I need to hack your lousy mac?
daltervia: thanks. I'll need it!
hammer: really? Can you back that up with science? ;)
gneake: the drinking age in the UK starts at about 10 so no. It's allowed to drink moderate alchohol at home for anyone over the age of 16.
shoufarn: British people are notorious binge drinkers. People start at an incredibly early age and drink gallons of the stuff, atleast I drink in moderation!
idbug: perhaps... but that's all the fridge had to offer. ;)
Coursework is best done last minute with muchos procrastination :D
(didn't actually do that badly in Gcse's)
Jon (random blog reader who knows daltervia)
Your absolutely right! Now if you excuse me, I'm off to procrastinate... ;)
Thanks for dropping by!
Hmm, I never tried it for coursework but I can state emphatically that alcohol and examinations do not mix. I have this, uh, friend, who attended an A-level chemistry exam with so much vodka in her system from the night before it was a wonder she could hold her pen and ended up giving up halfway through and answering all the questions with quotes from Rimbaud and Mirbeau. I got an 'N'. Er, I mean my friend did.
To run the risk of sounding right old and patronising, I wonder why people tend to drink Budweiser when they're 16? Practically everyone I know started off on Bud. I remember the absolute relief when I gave in, admitted it tasted awful and moved on to spirits.
Keep working hard. The percentages matter - especially if you want to excel.
Cheers,
DeBunkem
Wow, an all-nighter already, and you're not even in uni? I shudder at the thought...but wish you luck anyway. And congratulate you on writing a post so short while working on your homework. If it were me, I'd have practically written a book to put off getting anything productive accomplished, and checked my e-mail half a dozen times besides. At least you have some cherry tomatoes in there with you for sustenance...
what the royal fuck Jingo!!!!
BUD!!! oh no, this will never do.
Come to Canada, where I will show you a little delight in my fridge, one that comes from your general area of the world. Expressly.....
HEINEKEN!!!
violet: i don't even know why I was drinking it, I'm more of an alcopops person myself (but not a chav) and even then I drink in moderation. I wouldn't dream of drinking before exams!
To be honest, all beer tastes like piss to me... It's just Bud is most well known!
debunkem: Thanks for the encouragement! Those 8 marks shouldn't be too far off...
greta: Yes, I am a model student... ;)
aaron: It all tastes the same to me... Canadians drink Heineken?
Budweiser?
I need to move to the UK.
I remember when I was in the UK and went to a pub for lunch and was offered a beer - I couldn't believe it!! We don't usually drink at lunchtime before going back to work!
Hey, if that was your Mum who did the swap-over, she sounds like me!! That's the kind of thing I do for/to MY daughter!! (although he never drank while studying!!) ;)
heineken's fairly bland if you ask me.
thinker: Maybe we can swap places? ;)
kb: yes it was my mum... at least I think it is. Maybe in my house cherry tomatoes just manifest themselves?
gneake: it all tastes the same to me...
Whatever you need to do to achieve your goals, DO IT.
Studying at night without a good pack of cigarettes and two litters of coke is unthinkable. Pity I don't like beer.
Please do not give all British the bad name of drinking at very young age. It should be the Irish, oops, maybe Scots.
usual stuff: it's funny how I cant drink coke, but can drink beer. damn these braces!
anon: if i can legally have sex and move out. I think I'm entitled to an alcoholic beverage once in a while ;)
You have written a good note and Good luck
Ya sure good Article.... Can we get a coursework writingservice
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